Definishn: Attitude (lat. attui = to view; tudo – suffix to make abstract noun)

Discussing with my Dutch colleagues recently, I used the phrase “it is their attitude”. Immediately, I sensed that I had said something awfully wrong. Pause. Then someone said “Oh – you certainly mean it in the American way”. And the air cleared. What happened?
For them, attitude means “arrogance”, “being uncollaborative”. In Dutch culture, that is the worst you can be. So – having an attitude (or saying such about colleagues)  is a very bad thing.
I meant it in a very neutral way: It is the way they think, their viewpoint.

Luckily, another trait of the Dutch is to not hold back, so this misunderstanding could be solved. Unknown however, how many  misunderstandings remained unresolved.

By the way: In the title of this post, I suggest a different etymology for attitude than the common dictionaries. I think they got it wrong. Why would attitude would come from ‘aptitude’ (lat. aptus =joined, fitted)?



ENTp or INFj

I have spent quite some time recently on various personality tests: Jung Myer Briggs DisC Insight Management Drives – you name it. Consider me over tested. I start hating them because I think the results put me in a straight jacket. ‘Labelled’. And yes,even this remark is probably an expression of my personality: ENTp. (look it up)

Despite all that labelling phobia that I have,  it somehow helps.  Knowing how you react typically shows you where you need to be complemented. You can look for the right partner(s). Bingo. World in balance – you can stay in your comfort zone.No?

No. I am not only an ENTp but also a woman. I repeated the test today answering how I was behaving lately, and became an INFj.  Do those tests consider that I  view the world quite differently on one day versus the other (and also myself)? Does it take into account that I learn to change behaviour?

Bottom line I will say that I prefer tests that actually ask for what I ‘love’ to do rather than how I behave usually. Those get much closer to what drives me..: Create something new, influence people, and win.

And if I wasn’t also a sceptic, I’d start believing in zodiacs. And that they are a ‘self-fulfilling prophecy. Tell someone he is a lion, he will start act like a lion…..

“The digital proxies for our real world selves” @Kashhill

This is how Kashmir Hill is calling our various profiles, traces and accounts: the digital proxies for our real world selves.

Nice expression, I find, almost poetic. In her article on Forbes the other day, she recommends to make sure that you make sure that your privacy setting on facebook etc. are well set, especially as you apply for a job, so that (potential) employers cannot ‘sneak around’. And if you follow the comments, it seems indeed that some companies do that  – sneaking you out.

I have not finished thinking about this: On the one hand side, I have this ideal of teams at work who are just themselves, no matter if they are at home, on the street or at a party. In that case, no one would need to hide anything. That is respect for people.

On the other hand, you might have a rare fetish, have some friends or relatives who regularly cross the lines of taste (and yet you love them), and it is just not necessary that this becomes the topic of the water cooler (or your development plan)…. yeah, I guess there is a good reason for privacy settings, just that you can stay focussing on work during daytimes.

A third hand (I am indeed able to have multiple opinions on one topic), I can imagine situations where you are stuck with an employer who really does not respect you as a person. In that case, making any  ‘digital proxy’ unavailable to that employer seems the only way to go. It’s likely that you then also do other things to avoid being seen.  Only – in that case, chances are that your real world self will also soon start to shut down. Because — how can you stay mentally healthy and engaged if you need to constantly switch “selves”?

So my advice is: if there is ANY chance, be selective about your employer, and make sure that you stay ONE person and maintain a good self respect.

#definishn #”borderline personality disorder“: if your linkedIn profile contradicts your facebook presence and none of that has anything to do with YOU.

What is your Ideal Imago vs. (virtual) Reality?

It is just a fact that as soon as you dare go ‘on air’, you invite feed-back. Implicitely. The worst feed-back is silence’ because that shows that nobody  ‘loves your posts’ and noone dislikes it either. Polarizing would actually be ideal. That would mean moving a needle in the public opinion haystack. Really stand out! I would love to be known as extravagant, provocative, smart. I envy those who are. But sofar I have just duplicated mainstream ideas.

So – before I get to say something innovative, you bet at least 250 fellow(Wo)men -if not millions- have already blogged about exactly that.

Therefore, and to save my self-respect, I have adopted the view that it is also quite ok to follow well ,-) and guess what – someone made a whole youtube about it ages ago. But also here I am not the first follower, but the 1.4 millionst…..

Leadership From a Dancing Guy

Guess I need to work still a lot on my virtual (and real) presence. Feed-Back and Tips are of course welcome. And in the meantime I go look if I find a lonesome guy dancing…

Does saying ‘sorry I did not mean it that way’ work on the www?

Happens, right? Just said something slightly dismissive, used the wrong words, been disrespectful or cynical. That also does not feel good in real life, but it does not prevent most of us from talking to other people.  Why then is it for some a much higher fear of “writing something wrong” in a blog, on facebook or twitter? In my generation you actually find that social media anxiety quite often. Although clearly the net allows you to edit, delete, comment. Sure it also can be quoted wrongly, but then – a verbal statement is much more likely to be quoted wrongly (and behind your back).

That anxiety, if it does not block you completely, has a positive effect after all: Twittering, Blogging etc. actually asks to be deeper interested and form an own opinion. Don’t want to look totally stupid after all when everyone can read it…

But: unless you are famous, nobody is listening very carefully to you (ahm- me) anyway. Not in real life, but also not online. No illusions, there. And if I  should become famous eventually, I’ll explain everything with my youth….

So what does a Real Life Activity like “going to the theater” add to my virtual existence?

An IRL event: Schuld en Boete in Rotterdam/Bonheur. Mainly part of our journey to learn Dutch, so only slightly social media related. I actually even left any electronic stuff at home. But I really fell for this actor Ruurt de Maesschalck (plays Porfiri). Speaks with his hands. Big hands. Does he have an online presence? Nope… If you’re every day on stage being watched by people, does facebook still feel like something special? Oh yes: here you got a role to hide behind, there people expect to see something real? How bizarre….

New: My Pinterest Board: Awesome Twosome. Later found out that also others had that genius idea, but at least I have pinned exclusively my own photos… Somehow I find the whole net is simply recycling. Does anybody ever create really new content? Such as dramas that you can play on a stage?

The rest of the day I spent with my tax calendar. Online of course. Put in my travel days 2011, always one thought in my head: Why do I have to pay tax in one specific country if there is a European Union? Millions of non-productive work hours could be redirected to do something really useful…. like writing psychologic crime dramas. Gelijk Dostojewski… dus.

Virtual Reality

Just created my own ‘outdoor’ feeling. Too bad that smell cannot be produced yet. If you really listen, you can hear me swim in the pond there.

my Nature

Anyway. In reality reality my butt hurts from twittering, facebooking, and various games. Time to get me mobile, I guess.

“Coming Out” !

Now, having my own blog is certainly something…. add it to my belongings and attributes, such as domain, husband, car and house keys (I do not own a house and the car is also not mine), bookcase and music collection. This should be funny reading diary style about the definishn of my online-personality built ‘on top of’ – or better ‘out of’ a real life….As authentic as possible. I would have called it  ‘living plus-size’, but that comes with the stereotype of Rubens and Volcanoes. Would be not true. So let’s pretend we are being smart, witty, multilingual, creative and somehow ready to share some viewpoints.

The blog is  part of my learning assignment “becoming social media savvy”. Everyone can read here what rollercoaster it can be.

At this point I only use a PC. I do not own any gadgets of the company with the dead leader.

(c) Jutta Kristen